In February of 2014, I woke up from an emotional coma.
I was a Dad, a husband and an employee and not much else.
I was living the American Dream; kids, family, car, debt.
But I had forgotten how to be happy. I had forgotten how to have fun. I had forgotten how to feel.
In fact, in that 5-year period of marriage, I had cried exactly twice: once when my first son was born and once when my wife started working in the restaurant industry (because I had a strong feeling it would change everything).
Then one day I Googled “mind fuck.”
I wanted to see something that would bend my mind and open the doors of perception. But without drugs and just before the realm of two girls one cup and the human centipede (if you don’t know these things, do NOT Goolge them).
What I found instead was an article by Tony Robbins about beliefs…
I previously avoided Robbins like the plague because of his over-the-top persona, super-white teeth, fake-and-bake tan and seeming cult following (and presumed religious affiliation, which I now know he doesn’t have).
This article was life changing, but in a subtle way.
He reminded me that beliefs can change. And if we have beliefs that don’t serve us, we need to change them.
Whoa! Just what a guy in an emotional comma needed to hear!
Linked to that post was a free audio download with an intro to something he calls his “Hour of Power.”
The Hour of Power is HUGE. Yet it’s simple and effective. It’s a morning ritual that involves spending time with yourself and getting focused and centered on your mission and what your goals are, followed by visualizing them.
In the audio, he said things like “look deep down. Are you really happy?”
Ugh, sorry to admit it, but no Tony, I’m not.
“You give all of your time to others. But when do you get time for YOU??”
Oh my god Tony Robbins, are you a voodoo witch?!? How do you know my life and needs?!?
I immediately started walking every morning and spending time by myself to relax and enjoy life.
Along those lines, I present today’s challenge.
- Find 10 minutes per day to spend by yourself, preferably doing light exercise like walking.
- Setup a calendar reminder for a week and make sure to do it each day. Try to plan ahead to wake up early or do whatever you need to do in order to make this happen.
- While you’re walking, breathe. Feel the air on your skin. Be thankful that you’re alive and able to feel these things.
- Comment on the blog that you’re going to do it.
So easy and so transformative.
By doing this, I really had to rearrange my morning commute, but I went from 3k steps per day to 10k. And I lost 10 lbs just by adding in the extra activity.
So I wish you luck and hope you’ll join me.
Remember, this is all part of INFP Self-Love month. Loving yourself is a choice you can make and it starts with little things to prove your commitment to yourself. After you start continuously making similar decisions, your self-esteem skyrockets.
What better way to show yourself you care than by making some time to spend relaxing and listening to your thoughts.
Oh, my beloved INFP, do you know what month it is?
It’s February, the month where we worship our lovers and spend our money on them to try to make them feel loved one day of the year. Ah, relationships are comically flawed from the beginning for most unfortunately. I’m not cynical I swear.
Well, I’m single this year and I thought the best place to resume writing for Invincible INFP is on a very, very, VERY important topic: self-love.
That’s right, I declare the ENTIRE month of February as SELF-LOVE MONTH!
What this means very realistically is that you are tasked with learning to love yourself, NO MATTER WHAT.
And so, for this challenge, I propose some rules for the next few days:
- Listen to negative self-talk in your mind
- Think of the ways in which you actually do show yourself that you care.
- Think of the ways in which you treat yourself poorly.
We’re not talking about changing anything yet. Just observe and think about these things over the next few days.
Most of you have big dreams. I know this much.
Many of you can’t get close to those dreams because you’re hampered by fear, self-doubt, anger, confusion and many other things.
It’s time to get past that stuff.
And the first step to “getting past that stuff” is developing a love and compassion for yourself.
And I’m telling you, the more I love myself, the nicer people are to me. It’s uncanny and kind of amazing.
I remember writing a blog post on another site about an exercise on learning to love yourself. I shared it in the INFP subreddit.
Someone commented “I can’t do this because I honestly can’t say that I love myself.”
But I get it. I was there long ago, I just didn’t know that’s how I felt.
Learning to love yourself is truly one of the best things you can do for yourself.
It improves your confidence, self-esteem, ability to stand up for yourself and ability to love other people. I think more importantly, it gives you the strength to forge onward in the pursuit of confronting pain from your past and present so that you can become the person you want to be.
It will affect every single aspect of your life, even your career.
But it’s really fucking (sorry for the bolding, I just thought it would be funny to bold “fucking” by itself) hard if you’re not used to it.
So, the challenge is declared!
I’ll write a few posts this month with exercises that have helped me and insights I’ve gained.
But in the meantime, I want to hear from you either through blog comments or email.
What’s the first thing that comes into your head when you read this post?
Is it excitement or indifference? Anxiety or Joy? Doubt or Belief?
Are you like “hell yes! A challenge?” Excellent. Someone who’s brave enough to take life by the balls!
“Fuck this. I hate myself and that’s never going to change.” Getting it out in the air is the first step. You can definitely learn to love yourself if you give yourself a chance.
“I totes already love myself dude. And now I love you too.” Hey, thanks! I appreciate it! I love you too – we’re like a happy little hippy family or something. And I’m happy that you’ve found yourself 😉
So, let’s get started. Let me hear it in all it’s rawness and all it’s imperfection.